They Call Me Mama

Mommy, Mama, Mom- names I hear easily over one-hundred times a day, in fact multiple that number a few times over and it would probably be more accurate. At times, I'll be honest, it's a title that can be overwhelming and never-ending. From diaper changes, to snacks, to missing toys, to constant messes, to the fact that they just love to repeat it over and over again for no apparent reason at all, it is all consuming. Mama- that's me.

There have been times I've thought jokingly, "Maybe I should change my name?" Not that it would stop anything. It's just constant.

Then one day Baby Girl stopped, looked at me and said, "I love you, Mama!" She then continued on to whatever she was originally doing and left me contemplating that one word- Mama.

She doesn't know any different. I have always been HER Mama, but for me, out of nowhere, it just sunk in yet again. I am her Mama. Very profound, I know. I didn't give birth to her, but I am her Mama.

She has a wonderful birthmother who is involved in her life, but we call her by her first name. I am called- Mama, a title I did not earn in carrying the child, but in raising her. A title I still don't feel as though I somehow deserve, but I relish in every moment of it. Since the day I had my realization, I find myself constantly asking Baby Girl, "What's my name?" She always stares at me like I'm crazy, as if to say, "Seriously mom, you don't know your own name?" But she humors me nonetheless- Mama. It makes me smile every. single. time.

As I write this, I am overwhelmed by the fact that I have two little girls who call me by that name. I know so many whose hearts desire is to have children and I don't know why God has chosen to bless me with two wonderful, imaginative, beautiful girls, but I am doing my best to realize that sometimes the things that drive us the craziest are the very things we should relish in. I am so proud to be their Mama.