I have no idea where the past month has gone! I don't see how it's even possible that this little girl is almost a month old. No, seriously, there's no way it has been a month!
Life around our house has changed a lot. I laid in bed for over two weeks trying to recover from having her and the day after I finally said that I was feeling even remotely normal, I came down with laryngitis and a nasty sinus infection. Then I spent the next three days back in bed. So, as much as I enjoy getting to rest, goodness knows I don't get that with two toddlers, three weeks of it was too much even for me!
I am very grateful to have wonderful family and friends who have been overwhelmingly supportive as we've adjusted to our family of five. We have had a constant stream of meals, babysitters and coffee deliverers (these people know Starbucks is the way straight to my heart!).
The doctor said at her two week appointment that, once again, she is perfect and gaining weight like a champ! On a couple of occasions, she has even slept 6 hours at a time! Of course on those nights I didn't really get to enjoy the rest because I was typically quarantined upstairs so as not to wake anyone else with my incessant coughing. Bummer. I'm just praying she keeps it up!
She is definitely our little cuddle bug. Hold her close, wrap her in her blanket and give her the paci and she'll stay there forever. Of course this makes it very hard to accomplish anything else or take care of two toddlers because all I want to do is hold this beautiful (peaceful) sleeping baby.
I can't tell you how much its meant to me to have my momma here. I was always jealous of my friends who could hang out with their parents whenever they wanted or could just drop by their house on a whim in sweats or pjs simply for a change of scenery, and now she's here! We just can't wait for DC to join us.
R loves her little sister. She's very maternal. The first time we changed G's clothes in front of her and she cried R welled up with tears because she was certain we were hurting her. Now she knows better, so she will stand beside her and rub her head, kissing her saying, "It's ok baby. You're going to be ok. Don't cry."
I was wondering if we would have any difficulties with the older girls as we transitioned to a family of five and for the most part it has gone very smoothly. However, R has now decided that nap times and night times she will scream incessantly for no reason. She will also wake up multiple times at night and scream like something out of a horror movie until someone comes and lays down with her. Many nights Jeff ends up sleeping with her because I'm often already up feeding the baby. This has been very stressful for me because not only am I already not sleeping, but now I'm not getting a break at nap time either. I know that it's a phase, just be praying with us that it's a short one!
Obviously I have lots of pictures of R and G, but Baby Girl wants nothing to do with the camera. I try and try to take pictures of her, she's just over it all.
I've said it before, but this transition has been more of an adjustment for me than I anticipated. Yes, I know, I'm not even a month in, and I am working on giving myself grace as we figure everything out. I absolutely love being "mommy" to these three little girls. I just understand that this is the most important thing I will ever do. These children are my legacy and when I struggle with patience or exhaustion, I am constantly asking for their forgiveness, as well as praying that God will help me handle things better the next time. This is one thing I have to get right.
And let's be honest, as much as I loved being pregnant during the winter, it's very stressful to have three children stuck inside the four walls of your home 24/7 because the weather outside is frigid. I am very much looking forward to weather that allows me to throw open my back door and send the older girls outside to get some fresh air and use up some of that never-ending energy!
I saw this the other day and I'm just praying it's the truth!
I said this in a recent Facebook post, but it's true. One day you wake up and suddenly realize you're not an 18 year-old college kid anymore. You have the epiphany that you are, in fact, married, you own your own home, you have three kids and you're almost 30 years old and you have absolutely no idea how that happened.
You feel this wonderfully overwhelming pressure to create a home environment that fosters love and peace and a desire to seek after God. You spend what few quiet moments you have contemplating how to help your children learn and grow both educationally and spiritually, and yet often those thoughts are fleeting and rarely implemented because you are usually doing good to get through your days with everyone intact.
You are constantly fighting your own thoughts and the opinions you know others will have regardless of what decisions you choose for your children. You never feel like you're doing enough for your children or you're doing too much for them and they need to learn independence.
You can't win.
All you can do is lay it down at His feet, over and over and over again. I know He wants what is best for my children even more than I do, and that is where I find my peace. And that is something that I have to remind myself of constantly. He gave these girls to Jeff and I because He wanted us to raise them, no one else. They were meant to be our children and He has given us everything we need to do the job He has called us to do, and where we lack, He will pick up the slack as we continue to follow after Him. He never intended for us to be perfect parents. In fact, He knew we would never be perfect parents and yet He still chose to trust us to raise these three beautiful little girls.
"...being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. "
-Philippians 1:6
