Just a girl and her closet

I spent weeks, months, maybe even years on the floor of my closet in the house I grew up in. The green carpet from the original homeowners in the 70s still graced the floor. It was, by far, my favorite place in the entire house. 

It was there I became who I am in Christ. Settled in between stacks of scrapbook supplies, boxes of developed photographs and racks of hanging clothes there were prayer requests pinned to the cedar lined walls. There were notecard boxes overflowing with scriptures I loved written on one side and prayers prayed on the others. There were piles of journals, still some of my most prized possessions, filled with stories, dreams and fervent prayers of a young child. 

I took my pastor's advice one Sunday and it changed my life. The lonely little girl didn't need to be lonely anymore because I came to realize I was never truly alone. I took my loneliness and turned it into alone time with God. 

I got up early and went to bed late, spending every moment I could facedown in prayer. The terribly disgusting green carpet held nothing but sweet memories for me and the smell of cedar lulled me to sleep more times than I can count. That closet held years full of tears. It held prayer and praise sessions that went on for hours. I got up early to sit in that closet. I fell asleep time and time again on the floor of that closet. I cried out to God in that closet... and He heard my prayers. I learned relationships come out of the time you invest in developing them and that I could no longer rely on my parents or my pastor's relationship with God. I needed one of my own. God used what the devil meant for evil- loneliness, depression, isolation- and He turned it into the very foundation for my relationship with Him. 

Tomorrow the door will close on that season. My parents will sign the papers and hand over the keys to the new owners. Even though it's been a decade since I lived in the house, it seems like only yesterday. It was about twenty years ago, we moved in and the closet became my second home. Now I'm married with three children and I live in a big, beautiful house God provided for us. I spent a lot of time and money creating a "perfect spot" for my prayer and devotional times right in the center of our home. I filled it with things I love and decor to invite and inspire... and yet here I sit writing this post next to a rack full of shoes and a basket full of laundry... on the floor of my closet. I guess some things just never change.