It had been over two hours of anxiety. This Oklahoma girl was just not cut out for traffic in the big city. L.A. freeways might have been the death of me, but we finally made it to our destination, sort of. We pulled up next to the football stadium just in time to hear the kickoff from our open car windows. My husband is a diehard Minnesota Vikings fan, and he's never been to a game. But they just happen to be playing in L.A. while we were visiting. Jeff's work meetings ended a little early and with a hope and a prayer we proceeded on the treacherous trek through traffic to see if we could make it to the game. Our spirits were hopeful, all we had to do was park and we could make it in before the second quarter. "All we had to do..." Famous last words.
It was almost halftime before we finally gave up looking for a parking spot. Feeling defeated, we drove a little farther and found a place to eat. On our way into the restaurant I noticed them, you know the people, the ones that are easy to overlook. One stood out to me- pony tail, bright blue shirt, talking to himself, then responding and quietly laughing. I didn't know if I should be sad or concerned or some combination of the two.
After three plus hours of driving, we ended up at a pizza place... a pizza place that also had a location just minutes from our hotel. Oh the irony!
We talked and laughed and commiserated, eventually I noticed "my friend" walk in and find his way to an empty corner table where he sat alone and continued his self-made conversation. I was feeling very conflicted, but wasn't sure why. I ran to the restroom before we started on our long journey home, even mentioning to Jeff to keep an eye on me as I walked by my friend down the long dark corridor that led to the bathrooms.
As I walked past him, the conflict in me was growing. I knew I was supposed to DO something. A million thoughts filled my mind, possible scenarios and outcomes quickly followed. I couldn't keep up. I felt like my brain was on overload. But God is rarely that complicated, so in His normal peaceful demeanor and through all the chaos in my mind, I clearly heard the scripture- "If you love me, feed my sheep." All the other thoughts vanished.
I knew what God was asking. I had half of a pizza left. Pizza I hadn't touched. He wasn't making this difficult or overly complicated. He was quite literally and simply asking me to give my food to this man. Food I otherwise would have thrown away. For whatever reason, my desire to be "comfortable" was fighting with the possibility of insulting this man, but as it often does in my life, obedience won.
So after wrestling with God on the walk back down that hallway, I took a deep breath and quietly asked him if he would like a half of a pizza. He never looked me in the eyes. He simply dropped his head and shrugged. "I mean... I guess, if you're not going to eat it."
I quickly got the pizza from our table and very unceremoniously handed it over. "Thank you. God bless," he said with his eyes still hung low and his shoulders hunched. I said you're welcome and walked out the door. That was that. Honestly, it wasn't a grand gesture, but I left there knowing at least I had been obedient.
Not long after that we were sitting once again in traffic, my own shoulders tense, my neck in knots. It had been a long day and we didn't even get to go to the game. Jeff was focused on the road and I was trying NOT to focus on the road. I was stressed, annoyed and I found myself asking God, "Why?? What was the point of that? We drove over five hours in a car for nothi..."
And I heard that still, small voice yet again. "If you love me, feed my sheep."
I couldn't finish my sentence because suddenly it all made sense. The puzzle pieces in my mind started to make a clear picture.
God...You wouldn't have had us drive almost six hours in a car, just to give a man in the back of a restaurant a half of a pizza? Would you??
"Bethany, I would have flown you halfway across the country, to drive almost six hours in the car to give this man, my child, a half of a pizza."
I sat in stunned silence. I had been thinking far too small.
Immediately all of my annoyance, frustration and confusion melted away and I simply found myself grateful. Grateful that God found me somehow worthy of an assignment with such great importance to Him that it required extreme lengths and amazing distances. What I saw as a detour, God saw as a destination. Even through my lack of understanding, He still chose to use me.
The more I thought about my friend, the more God reminded me that there is no limit to the lengths He will go to for each and every one of us. The details of our lives orchestrated with such care and precision, each one of us HIS intricate masterpiece and He would move heaven and earth to make sure we know the depths of His love.
I am quite certain I will never understand the importance of what God had me do, at least not on this side of eternity. But regardless of what my meager offering might have meant to that man, God's lesson to me was invaluable...
His love for us is unexplainable and the lengths He will go to ensure we know that love is immeasurable and when given the opportunity to play a part in sharing that love with others...always say yes.
"How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure,
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure."
- Stuart Townend
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