The Imperfect Gift

On this specific day, I chose imperfection. It was the end of the school year and this mama was D.O.N.E. But I knew I had to do something. So that's exactly what I did, I chose something over nothing. I chose my momentary best. I always want to give 110%. Basic is never good enough. I have to do more, push the limits further, make things better.  But it's amazing how much my best can vary from day to day.

I have always felt a constant need to keep my house clean, but at this point we were selling our home and the pressure to have it immaculate at all times was completely overwhelming. Compound that with the fact there are three children under five living there and my stress level was through the roof.

I found out less than two weeks before school ended that R's teacher was retiring. It may not seem like a big deal, but somehow this first time school parent was also the class homeroom mom and I had no clue what I was doing. Suddenly the realization that the privilege and responsibility of aptly celebrating this teacher was falling on my shoulders. I'm the newbie here. Talk about the blind leading the blind! So now with only two weeks left of class, I need to plan a retirement party and make these last days special. How do I do that?!

My admiration and respect for teachers, now that I have school age children, has multiplied without measure! We were going to celebrate and it was going to be special, dang it! She has given decades of her life to watch children grow and learn and now I want her to understand the true impact she's made.

(Yes, I put a lot pressure on myself, but when it comes to making people feel important and understanding the impact their lives have made, I will ALWAYS go the extra mile.)

The party itself hit a few road blocks but ultimately it went off without a hitch and I think she was thoroughly surprised. Much to my pleasure, we had a classroom FULL of parents there to make certain she knew how much we loved and appreciate her. 

But when it came to decide on a gift, I struggled. I flipped through Pinterest, as any good homeroom mom would do. I pinned so many wonderful ideas of things I could make or keepsakes I could have the children create, but when it came down to it, there just wasn't time. Not only were there not enough hours in the day to do all I'd love to do, but literally our timeframe leading up to this party was so brief I didn't even have time to order anything special. 

The day before the party arrived and I finally decided what I would do. I was going to make a scrapbook... in a day. I was a scrapbooker in a past life, but they took me weeks, if not moths, to make. But now I had 24 hours. I would use the pictures other parents sent me throughout the year. I would have them developed... in one hour ... at a drugstore. *Gasp.* Let me say... There is NOTHING wrong with this, but as a photographer it killed me. The quality, the coloration, I bit my tongue, swallowed my pride and knew for today - this was my best. I then ran through Michael's with a screaming toddler, picked up anything I thought would work, threw it in the cart and made a B-line for the door.

I kept thinking to myself, "This is NOT how it should be! I want this to be special. I want this to be perfect. She deserves better than this." But God just kept whispering in my ear that this was my best. 

I worked on it every chance I could that day- babies screaming, kids fighting, nothing broke my concentration. My once immaculate house fell victim to the wiles of a distracted mother and three crazy children. Paper flew, scissors were slung and tape held it all together. I worked late into the night and finished just in time the next morning to get dressed and run out the door for the party. 

It was not my finest work. She deserved better. 

But on that day it was my best and I'll rest in that. I chose to do something. I chose even in my imperfections that people are ALWAYS worth the extra time. I know I will never in my life regret a moment I spent trying to make someone know their worth, so I will continue to give imperfect gifts.