Long Trip Alone

Monday morning came. The day I'd been dreading had finally arrived. It was me verses them. I would be making the six hour trip alone from Louisiana to Oklahoma with two babies. I'd prepared as much as I could, individual snack bags of food were on the front seat beside me. I had gathered up all of the small toys and books and stacked them neatly within reach. R had plenty of bottles of milk in the small ice chest on the floor. I was as ready as I could ever be. We left the house around 8am on a wing and a (lot) of prayers. By some miracle, it was almost two and a half hours before Baby Girl had her first meltdown! (Yes, most of that time she was asleep.) So it seemed like a good time to stop and let everyone get some fresh air. But now was the true test. How do you handle two babies who both need diaper changes, both need to be fed, and you need to go to the bathroom?

Yes as you guessed it, it was all downhill from there. Baby Girl was screaming her lungs out as I tried to get her sister out of the car seat. R was getting grumpy, but holding it together well. I had a diaper bag over my shoulder and car seat in one arm and a toddler holding my other hand. This can only go well, right? R was happily trying to dart into the parking lot as we made our way to the door and Baby Girl was still screaming. At least one child was happy... I had to momentarily let go of those little fingers to open the door. The door was deceivingly light and R is deceivingly quick. So as I flung open the door, she ran towards it. My small child flew backwards after the corner of the metal door plowed into her cheek and eye.

So now I have two screaming babies.... and an audience.

I wanted to pack it up and get back in the car, but for whatever reason that just seemed worse. I am crouched on the sidewalk outside of Burger King holding two screaming babies and not a single person came to open the door. They watched it happen and the workers even commented on how they've seen it happen before, but not one of them thought it helpful to open the door for the exasperated mother.

R managed to stop crying when I found some snacks in my purse, but her sister found little condolence in them. After our stop in the bathroom, I was down to one screaming baby and another whimpering toddler who already had a bruise all the way down her face and an eyebrow that was almost split in two. I hung my head in shame as the patrons stared disapprovingly at my obvious lack of parenting skills (they do not have children we can assume). Surely the worse was over, right? Well if by that you mean that R would not listen to me as I fed her sister and continue to climb up and down on the benches until she fell and hit her head. Then yes, the rest went great. I only had so many hands. At that point, thankfully (and in my mind- embarrassingly) another mom came over and asked if she could hold Baby Girl while I took care of R. I sighed heavily and accepted her offer. As soon as R's tears stopped, we were out the door. I just couldn't take any more. And you'd better believe that come hell or high water, we were not stopping again!

The rest of the trip went fine. The girls did not majorly breakdown once in the car and if I could just erase that one 30 minute stop from my mind (unlikely), then I would have called it a huge success. As it is, I will just call it like I see it - over and done with! 

In the grand scheme of things if 30 minutes of terror is all that I had to endure in order to see my family and friends for a week, I got the best end of the bargain. Perhaps I was just hoping to have my cake and eat it too.

I did learn a lesson through it all. I learned that there are times that you CANNOT do it alone. In those times you have to trust that God will provide exact what you need, when you need it. As embarrassed as I was to have a stranger have to hold my baby, while I picked up my screaming child off the floor of a fast food restaurant, I needed her help.  

As moms, we always feel the need to do everything and be everything for everyone all the time, but we can't.... and that's okay. It's in those times of need that God puts people in our lives to pick up the slack (or the screaming child). We just can't be too proud to accept the help. No one can do everything all the time. God made us to need Him and to need others. 

Honestly, I hate that. I have always done my best to be self-reliant. But as I am slowly growing up, I am realizing that I need help. I can't do everything and when I try to do everything, I am so overloaded that I do it all poorly with an attitude to match. 

So I say thank you to the sweet mom at Burger King. While I never wanted to need your help, I am very grateful that you went out of your way to make my miserable stop just a little more bearable. I am grateful for the time I got to spend at home and while I love you all so much... but I'm thinking it might be a while before I subject myself to that again : )