I Can't Do It

Overwhelmed. Stressed. Anxious. Tired. 

We've all been there before.

I was thinking back to a time when I was in college, when I just couldn't take any more. It felt like I was walking around with a ton of bricks on my head, even my posture looked defeated. I was broken. I remember crying out to God through my tears saying, "God, I can't do it by myself!"

I will never forget His response. It was as if I audibly heard Him say, "I never asked you to."

I was shocked. What had I missed? I felt like everything I was doing were things He had called me to do, so where did I go wrong? Then I realized that my own words spoke to the real problem, "I can't do it by myself." God never asks us to do anything alone, but we do it anyway. It's as if we get our marching orders, shake God's hand and say, "Thanks. I'll take it from here." 

God is not only the inspiration for our dreams, but the source that sustains us on our journey there.

I wish I could say that this is a lesson I've only had to learn once and never let go of, but that wouldn't be true. Sadly, I have allowed fear and anxiety in too many times to count. For the past week, I have been dealing with an eye twitch that would not go away. I understand my body enough to know that this means I am tired and/or stressed. I know both of these things come with the territory of being human and even more so, being a parent. As I lie in bed last night, I began to ask God to forgive me and listed off all of the areas I spoke about above. Something that I allowed into my life was causing this to happen and it is not what God wants for me. I had picked up something that was not mine to bear and my body was feeling the effects. I let go of my anxiety and stress and chose to trust that God was more than enough. My twitch was gone in the morning.

I understand that not everyone who reads this post believes the same as I do, but I can't imagine any other way to live. I cannot describe the freedom that comes from having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. It's more than pacifying an aloof being who is only there to judge and condemn you. It's an active relationship with the creator of the universe. It's realizing that you are the singular most important person in the world to Him. He wants to know you. I have a hard time grasping that concept. Why would He want to spend time with me? It's just amazing to think.

This life is full of things ready to beat us down, but each day I know that I will never be alone. I will never face a trial without the hope that God's mercies are new every morning and that His grace can cover every one of my mistakes. I love that I am not expected to be perfect or have it all together and that I can not do a single thing to make Him love me more or less. I love that even in His gentle rebuke I felt Him pulling me closer and not pushing me away.

I am learning to live in the freedom that comes with this amazing relationship. I can give my troubles to Him and know they are in much better hands. Don't hold tight to things that weigh you down. Trust God and see what He does.

 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” - Matthew 11:28-30